by C.S.

Remember when you were young and dreaming of a prince in shining armor? Then when you actually found him, the giddy, walking on air feeling, the eager anticipation every time you were going to see him, the starry eyed conviction that this was the perfect man for you? Is your fairytale still being written or is the manuscript buried under a pile of dirty laundry somewhere?

Under the barrage of new responsibilities from 2am feedings, dirty diapers, toys scattered hither and yon, shopping, laundry, cooking etc., parenthood can cause a film to grow on the rose colored glasses we previously viewed our spouses through. Prince charming begins to look like the “Villain Oblivious” who leaves a wake of chaos in his path in the form of dirty laundry strewn all over the floor, toothpaste on the mirror, toilets seats left up, forgotten trash in the dumpster etc. Of course, his glasses are getting a film as well and he is beginning to wonder if he accidentally married the wicked stepmother instead of the princess.

Today is the perfect day to begin a new chapter in our story. We can choose to stop comparing, stop complaining, and stop making excuses. We can commit to doing whatever it takes to make our spouses number one again. Take a look at what made you fall in love in the first place and start making these things a priority in your life over everything else including your children. Plan a weekly date night where you go out to eat and talk about everything except the children. Turn off the television and listen to your spouse’s struggles and dreams, be their recreational companion, take an interest in their hobbies, seek the Lord together.

This takes a lot of planning and work. You may need to set up a babysitting co-op or swap baby sitting with a friend. You may need to have a date night at home after the children are put to bed early. You may want to set an early bedtime in general for your children to give you and your spouse time to talk each night. Ask God for direction in how to make your marriage a priority. As we do we will receive a two fold blessing. Our spouses will respond to the love we are showing and grow in there own expressions of love and self sacrifice toward us. Second we will be giving our children a rare and wonderful gift; the example of how to have a happy, secure, and growing marriage.